Questioning Ones Self

I don’t know about you, but these horrible days always seem to dawn on me unexpectedly..When I sit there in mid thought and have to question if what I’m doing is right? Am I making a horrific mistake on my journey?

Well today is one of them days. It seemed to be going quite well, planned to go to the cinemas with a friend so yeah it seemed an ok day. So we arrive at the cinemas and there’s only a few people around (which I prefer), we walk into the screen & pick our sites at the back kind of out the way to avoid being too stuffed in the crowd. The movie ‘Ted’ was playing. Wasn’t really my fancy, found it quite weird watching a teddy bear act like a grown man. So anyway we leave the cinemas around 9ish and travel home in my friend’s car. On the way home there was a car that was driving so close to the back of her car with the full beams on, so she decides to slow right down causing the man behind to turn aggressive and he started to drive next to us or right up behind her which I found really discomforting. I have no idea why my heart was pounding so fast all I could feel was anxiety building up all over.

So I arrive home and go on a jog around my area for 30 minutes to come back and make bed. Once I sat down I recieved a few text messages from a guy. I always seem to want to distant myself from the world when I become too much in contact with people, so I didn’t reply and logged online to make a post.

As usual my mind jumps to a thought, tonights being about my life and myself. Am I being 100% with myself and people around me? Am I making the right decisions which will pave my future? 

The only way to describe this feeling is nauseating.

I can only hope my thoughts are lighter tomorrow, It is a new day an all 🙂


Good night. MS 


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