I thought the diagnosis would bring a clearer view on life..
I genuinely thought it would make some situations easier to get through but it’s actually starting to irritate me even more! Being diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome made a lot of the pieces come together, it was the missing puzzle piece, but growing up in a main stream school and having friends close to me since then I have become used to SOME social situations.
Anyway I was asked to go around this woman’s house that I sometimes babysit for for a ‘chat’. So already I’m feeling anxious because I thought I was going to babysit..I don’t even know this woman or even really care about her ( sounds harsh but it’s reality ) she is no one I need or want in my life & the thought of it turning into a friendship makes me nauseas. So she’s talking away telling me her ins & outs of her partner being a bad person etc..I’m still not interested. Then she starts coming close to me to act out what he would be like with her which made me incredibly uncomfortable & probably would anyone.
So minutes turn into an hour and I’m getting bored & impatient. Then she asks me if I can babysit a load more nights in the future which then I had to tell her my situation. I told her I’m sorry I have Aspergers & I’m not sure if I can help you. It’s not somewhere I feel comfortable & most nights I like to be alone, yes doing nothing exciting but that’s what I like to do. Not be at some persons house I hardly know! Then she says’ Aww bless you honey’…’I wouldn’t of thought you had that’
So at this point im fuming. How dare she ‘aww bless’ me..I’m not a child, I’m not a idiot or foolish. How patronising! I wanted to kill her at this point. And to say she didn’t think I had that made me feel even more angry. She doesn’t even know me at all! She doesn’t understand that I don’t go around miserable every day of my life like Aspergers people have to be depressed..It’s as if they expect me to be a depressed person that can’t even talk to someone.
Yes I felt very uncomfortable but I’ve been in these situations for years now it’s something I’m used to, but once I walk out of that house & I’m alone I’m the real me. If you’ve read my previous posts you’ll know already I struggle with who I am etc…
But yes sorry about the rant guys I’m just furious with this comment. Aspergers people are not all the same..we are individuals too! Give me strength!!
If anyone also has problems dealing with ASD/ADHD feel free to comment, let off some steam hehe.