How I’m Feeling Today. – Shit.

Sometimes I get angry at myself for not thinking clearly. These ideas are genius but there’s no way of putting them out there. I judge everything & everyone. I expect honesty – get lies. I live in hope for a better future unable to change. I get angry at those that don’t see what I see. I get angry at those that think I’m like the rest of the world but I’m not. I dwell on past friendships I couldn’t cope with or treated them badly. I wish for a man to love me knowing I’m hard work. I envy those that can socialize freely and naturally yet I sit here worrying about making new friends. I battle with my ego on the daily. One minute I want people in my life the next I don’t want anyone but really I don’t want to be lonely. I cry over bullshit. I talk shit – In hope someone will think I’m ‘normal’. I love animals more than people – does that make me weird?. I love writing but I’m lost in the buzz of my thoughts – It’s harder to put on paper. I want to write a book but have no courage. I want to travel but I don’t have money or courage. I seem to want a lot of things & think of everything negative..I wish I could focus on the positive.

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10 thoughts on “How I’m Feeling Today. – Shit.

      1. I know, I’m just not used to letting my barriers down I suppose.
        Thanks again, really appreciate the commments : ) Stay in touch.

  1. It’s okay to feel shitty. Just feel shitty and revel in it, you’ll feel better when you feel like it. I have these ups and downs and I just learned to let myself have them and to try to embrace them as part of me. It always makes me mad when people tell me to cheer up. I’ll cheer up when I damned well feel like it. Just like you will. So instead I will say that I am happy, again, that you came across my blog and now we can chat about things. You remind me a great deal of a friend of mine.

    1. I just sent you an email 🙂 Yeah definitely, I don’t usually like to be so open with these thoughts where anyone can see them but I also don’t want my followers to think of me without the flaws etc. So thought I’d be more open with how I feel rather than bottle it up. I’m glad you commented though : ) And I’m happy that we can talk about things too : ) OOOooo why do I remind you of a friend? Fill me in..

  2. I have that challenge with my thoughts sometimes. Sometimes what sounds great in my writing sounds weird or disturbing when spoken out loud. Like for instance, when I cry I can sometimes almost hear sad music playing in my head and that just makes me cry even more. Who knows if that’s normal or not? I don’t even know.

    1. Thanks for commenting 🙂
      I can relate with you, I find writing is the easiest/most accurate way for me to express my feelings etc but if I was to speak about it, it would just sound so weird.
      I’ve never hear sad music when I cry to be honest but who knows if it is normal or not girl we are all unique & special. I can’t even bear to listen to music when I’m sad it makes me feel weird & sometimes worse!!

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