Cupboard doors slamming, cutlery clattering. Heavy footsteps beating up the stairs. GRRR just SHUT UP! Why does one need to make such noise!? The flush of the toilet when I’m trying to concentrate. The raised voice in a lovers tiff making me uneasy. Tears flood out of no where.
One room each is where we end up in. Our own zones. A place we can relax & not be disturbed. Then the ring ring of the telephone will startle me…please don’t be for me would be an immediate thought. The chitter chatter over the loud TV downstairs drives me crazy.
My lovely mother trying to lend a hand & move stuff around in my room whilst I’m out. I realize soon enough & erupt like a fucking volcano..”Where the fuck have you put this?!?!” “Leave my stuff alone!” completely not realizing her intentions of a good deed. The impatient conversations in our household are just beyond annoying. Walking away before someones finished a sentence. Bored. Annoying. Frustrated. Let me just finish it for you?
Strict orders. Strict walk ways. Strict times. Not all I am in control of which drives me even more mad. A minimalist living with on the boarder hoarders. Cluttered thoughts. Battles of control everyday. The annoying 2 second wait for someone to pass through the hall way.
Life in my house sometimes can be unbearable for me. I love my mother dearly, she is my rock. I feel sorry for the shit she has to put up with. A daughter & husband with Aspergers & ADHD must be hell for her sometimes. I wish I had her calm manner & positive energy all the time. I really do. She is the person who makes me laugh uncontrollably one day & wanting to scream at her the next. I am so lucky to have her finally understand more about why I get angry & react the way I do to things she probably wouldn’t of even noticed. My father & I have a strange relationship. We can seeing red at each other one day, then be in a talkative mood the next discussing all the things we have in common (which is a lot). I often wonder what the neighbours must think of us, but at the same time I don’t really care!
So this is a basic post about everyday life in my household. It can be pleasant some days & agonizing the others! But it’s what I’m used to now & can handle most days..