“…the worst kind of loneliness in the world is the isolation that comes from being misunderstood. It can make people lose their grasp on reality” – Inferno, Dan Brown.
I could feel this poison tickling my insides. It wasn’t far away. I could feel myself getting weaker & weaker under it’s spell. Not long now. The days before were almost OK. The pain in her throat started coming more often, the urge to cry kept reoccurring. Tonight she thought fuck it. The emotions a whirlwind of catastrophe awaiting & a dark hooded evil lurking around the corner. These feelings pulling down becoming unbearable just unable to cope anymore. But then out of no where comes those sickening yet almost fitting thoughts. How could I escape this feeling? I’m lacking balance and exhausted. One moment the flowers & everything around me seem pretty, the next everything doesn’t exist. Just a cornered wall & deadly thoughts.
The sound of travelling water in my mind did not sound so tranquil, more of a calling. Is it possible to leave this place so calm? Or is cheating always a result of pain? Snapping back in control of my mind I know the answer is not to cheat. There’s always a resolution. But how much more can one take? This life is a hard one. It’s never going to be easy. Not for those that see the ins & outs of everything. Seeking the answers to everything & not trusting anything.
A mind shuffling thoughts rapidly. A mind misunderstood always. Why do these suited idiots chuck chemicals at me? “These WILL make you feel better” they command. Why won’t you listen to me?! I want help not tablets! So the on going disappointment still lingers. The system are built for money & we really don’t matter. I still lay here in agony angry at the world & those that could be helping. A life so precious & rare, a mind so beautiful & incredible thinking the most dirty thoughts just to escape this place we call home. Let me flee from the lies & frauds. Let my mind relax from questioning the unknown & let me feel comfortable in my own skin.