Personal Post – Is It A Blessing?

Heaviness sinks into my head. Lets just let the false reality take me. But within seconds those questions start spilling in. It all leads to the same conclusion. I often think I wish I wasn’t here on earth. Yes I sound ungrateful. But am I really? When we all speak these words of being alive is a blessing. But is it a blessing when you see the world a different way to others?

Is it a blessing to see through the lies we are fed daily. Is it a blessing to be surrounded by greed? Is it a blessing to watch soldiers fight wars for those that have the money not to do so? Is it a blessing to watch people praise soldiers that kill innocent families for power and money? Is it a blessing to see so many depressed people knowing there’s no easy way out? Is it a blessing to witness egoism every damn day? Is it a blessing knowing there is poverty yet no one seems to want to pay attention to that. Is it a blessing to feel pressure into being something when maybe I don’t really fancy being anything? 

So yes sometimes I genuinely think there could of been someone else that could of taken my place. But then I think there are still some that see everything the way I do. So there must be hope? I know this may sound very selfish & careless but it’s me being honest. I find it hard to think positively about life when everywhere I look there is destruction. I often panic about not wanting to bring a child into this world. I often wonder what the world will have come to in years to come, that’s if we haven’t f*cked it too much to resolve it. 

This is what irritates me. The average normal person probably doesn’t even worry about such things. They probably worry about their latest work schedule or their monthly outgoings. Why can’t I panic about things like that instead?! Please if you feel this way about life & it’s not just me then help me out here 😦 Is this really life?!

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21 thoughts on “Personal Post – Is It A Blessing?

  1. Having the ability to see past the shallow parts of life is both a blessing and a curse. You see the sorrow, pain, and agony of the world. How could this be a place worth living in? But then, there is also so much beauty. The wide-eyed innocent child playing happily, flowers opening their lovely faces to the sun, a mother’s smile as she looks at her newly born child, the stranger that pays for someone else’s meal. I have to remind myself of the good. Maybe my life is not worth it. Maybe I have more pain than joy and I would be better never born. However I am resolved to make those around me happy and add to the light and hope in their lives. If I cannot find beauty for myself, I create it for others. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you are able to get at least a small glimpse of true beauty this day!

    1. Hey Anna 🙂

      Thank you so much for taking time out here! I’m so grateful for this.

      Do you know what? Your words have lifted me so much tonight. Honestly it’s like seeing a bright light waking me up from the negative thoughts. I focus too much on the negative & seem to ignore the positive when there are such beautiful things everywhere!

      I really loved reading this Anna, it’s really inspired me to try and focus on bettering myself for good. I am so thankful for you helping me out here! I won’t forget this.
      And yes I did see a glimpse of true beauty today being you guys all taking time out to help me here & realising there is more to life than needing answers all the time or focusing on things that are not worth feeling down for.

      Thank you!!!! 😀

      1. I am so very glad to here that! 🙂 It is hard for me to remember but it really helps me not just sink under the weight of depression and sorrow. Your blog has been such an inspiration and point of light in my life! Thank you so much!

      2. I am glad my blog has inspired you in some way too! 🙂 I am trying to cling on to the good mood I felt since last night after reading all the lovely responses 🙂

  2. These are some deep things to be thinking about. I wish I had answers. All I know, is that I try to be the best person I can be, be as nice as I can be and hopefully others will follow my example (that being said, I try not to let people push me around).

    1. Hey! 🙂

      I know it’s tough isn’t it..I honestly think there are no clean cut answers, and I’ve read somewhere that sometimes the answers aren’t important. I’m not sure how easily I can adjust to that though I’m constantly needing the answers. GRRR.

      I am working now on being the best that I can be, and honestly all you guys help me so much! Like yesterday I was in a really sh*t mood, but after seeing all you guys giving me some advice & help has lifted my mood immensely!

      I need this positive attitude in my life & to stop thinking so negatively about everything. I might try & write a post on something positive for a change 😀 haha..

      Thanks for your help believe me when I say it’s greatly appreciated!

  3. I feel for you and often wonder about the same things, but I have to shamefully admit that I’m often like the average person. When I was younger, I thought organised religion was the answer but it didn’t solve anything. Your writing seems your best way of getting your feelings out, stick with it.

    1. Thanks for taking time out to help me here 🙂 Really appreciate this! I didn’t expect people to comment here, I can see some may find it offensive but I just hope that some can relate in some way.

      I was brought up Catholic as a child but never really understood it. I had too many unanswered questions and have never really liked the idea of following rules or people. I do love the art & culture with religion though. I’d love to visit Vatican City or Italy one day to see the art & sculptures. But yeah I don’t believe in a god as such but I can relate a lot to Taoism. I’m thinking that may be why I struggle coping at the moment as I hate being labelled or categorized. It’s like I’m roaming the world alone almost. Hmm not sure if this all makes sense sorry I’m rambling on!
      Thanks so much, I really appreciate this! I will definitely stick to my writing & bare everything in mind from all you guys 😀

  4. It’s not only you!
    The reason you should stay is exactly the things you are writing here. You’re right, many worry only about their latest work schedule and their monthly outgoings, but it’s the ones that can see beyond their own navel and see the problems in the world who’ll be able to make a change too. “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
    Whether it’s a blessing or not, you’re already here, and you can’t make it count … but you don’t need to carry the world on your shoulders.

    1. *phew* So relieved to see this!
      I know I shouldn’t feel relieved but you know it’s just daunting sometimes. This is what gets me the most like I know all I ever want to do in my life time is help others and try and change the world but at the moment where I’m feeling all over the place it feels like I’m a little child screaming for something that isn’t going to happen.
      I wish I was really happy & positive so I can fulfill my dreams. I really appreciate this so so much! I didn’t think anyone would want to comment here because I probably sound a bit offensive to some but it’s just how I feel and I’m so glad you can relate!!

      I hope you pass by again sometime because I’m glad you did today 🙂

      Thank you..

      1. Of course you feel relieved! We don’t wanna be alone in the world and knowing that others have the same perception of life/things makes us feel understood and less alone.
        Gosh, when I read what you wrote about all you ever want to do is help and try and change the world it’s like reading my own thoughts. I also feel so helpless, like a little child, because how can I (!) make a difference!? But hey, we’ll be happy and energetic and one day able to do more than we do now, but even now we are making a difference. Taking every opportunity we have to be something positive in the lives of the people around us, and making our own life count is also making a change! Try to remember that even if you aren’t at your best right now, there’s still some things you can do to get closer to your dreams. Baby steps 😉

      2. That’s just it I feel so helpless. Like I feel like the only purpose I have in my life is to help those that need it & save nature etc. But when your depressed from it all & when you feel like this your not always able to just get up and have the courage to do such things! 😦 It’s like a vicious circle.
        I’m really glad you commented here! It really does help me not feel so alone 🙂 Aww thank you for caring 😀 I am just learning that it really is baby steps & they matter more than anything at the moment! I do have some hope for the future that I will be able to do some things 😀
        Thank you! Have a lovely week 🙂

      3. You have to remember that your life is worth saving too (if that makes sense). Your wellbeing is just as important as the wellbeing of others. You can’t start with anyone but yourself. If you’re not happy and around you won’t be able to do anything.
        Have a wonderful week yourself! It’s okay to focus on yourself sometimes 🙂

      4. I love this! Very well said & very true! Thank you Marie for taking time out here, it really helps 🙂 All the best & do stay in touch! 😀

  5. … I feel the same way a lot of the time and I’m sorry to say there is no advice I can give you. Humanity as a whole sucks, the only thing we can do is try be better and show others a better way. Of I ever figure out how to really do that I’ll get back to you.

    1. Ahh it’s really bugging me out at the moment. I go through phases of not thinking too deep into this then some days it takes over me.

      I’d rather your honesty over anything so I appreciate that! Thanks for this though 🙂 And yeah I know definitely.. I just wish I had the positive vibes too. Yes please do 😀

  6. Ahh Maria, I feel your pain! Taking all these things into account it can seem so overwhelming and that life is full of injustice, unfairness and unhappiness. In short, that life sucks! But there is so much good too! I have these very same conversations with my daughter, and my sons too! The only answer I keep coming back to is that it feels that there is so much you can’t change, as the big picture is far too overwhelming, what you can do is to be true to yourself, live your life with your values, ideals and goodness. In this way you can make a difference to the people around you. Look at what you are doing here with this blog! This is not meant to sound trite, and I say it as someone who has struggled all my life, as someone who knows this to be true. You can teach your future children the right way to live, the right way to be, to be polite, truthful, kind, thoughtful, loving, caring and fair. Old fashioned values? Does it matter? No. Somebody has to stand out and not follow the crowd, someone has to stand up for what is right and true, even if that means not being popular. Somebody has to make a difference, one day at a time. You are doing that today, right now Maria! Keep going sweet girl. I hope this helped 🙂 xx

    1. Hey Sherri!!

      Always lovely to hear from you!! How’s life treating you? Ahh it really does feel overwhelming for me at the moment. It’s like I’m constantly thinking of all the dark things in the world & wanting to stop them without having any ability to. I feel worthless sometimes, not in a self loathing way just in a way of being helpful if you get my drift.
      I have had such a positive response from you guys that it has lifted my spirits, I get the urge to write a positive post then I’m lost 😦 GRRR.

      I was having a conversation with a close friend tonight about having kids and how much I really didn’t want them for various reasons but then I thought..The only purpose I feel I have in my life is to help change the world, small steps and all that & maybe having a responsibility like having a child & teaching them the way could be one purpose too. But time will tell, I just want to see how things pan out.

      I think I’ve always kind of thought differently and not really followed in some sense and maybe that’s why I’m feeling a sudden feeling of being lost in the world. I can’t put in to words how much your words inspire me to strive for the positive in life. As hard as I find it to spot the goodness I believe I can pay more attention now!

      I’m so glad you came here today I really love seeing you pop up 😀

      Hope your life is on a more stable path at the moment!

      xx

  7. So glad I was able to help but I do know it’s not easy by any means. Things were really bad for a while but better again now thanks. I found myself writing some quite angst-ridden poetry on my blog as it was the only thing I could do at the time a few weeks ago! Thanks for asking Maria, and remember, you know where I am if you just need to ‘talk’! I hope you are feeling a little better today, and keep in touch…:-) xx

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