Mumble Jumble, Her Life On The Rocks

She carves her name into the strong birch tree. Gossips frantically with her mind. Where the fuck do I go when I die?

Leaving what ever she could to trace her past. Nothing left to decide. She’s wasted her whole life.

Society’s rules made her feel inadequate. Unworthy of living. But she still knew better.

Wearing her suit of armor she faked. Lived in fear of being judged. Silences her thoughts.

Walking on water. Untouchable. Superior.

Living in the dark is all she knows. Why would she want to see the light? Why change what she knows best?

The strain from others suffocate her. Wishing for emptiness. Asking for forgiveness.

Yearning for the awaited touch. Someone to take her mind elsewhere. Walks in the forest.

The years just tick on by. Nothing slowing. Only the time in the mind matters.

She abandons her dreams of fairy tales. Lacking the meaning of life.

Carousels take the horses round. Like the norm swirling around & around.

The misty rain forest home to many. The sky liners dominate a pretty city.

Sipping away something strong on the rocks. Forgetting her life full stop.

Fucking the rules with a swift middle finger. Since when was she the one to follow.

Dizzy dinosaurs spill all over the evening field. Cross eyed and crazy.

Raindrops cleanse her feared insanity. Losing it.

Servant to the controlling mind.

No one understood.

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5 thoughts on “Mumble Jumble, Her Life On The Rocks

  1. I really do love the way you express yourself in your writing Maria, it really draws me in…dark, angry, stripped bare right down to the hard truth. I get it! xx

    1. Thank you Sherri 😀 I really love hearing from you, it’s just nice knowing that someone cares you know..Like that just means so much to me. I never really ever appreciated those in my life growing up as I do now. I never knew what a friendship really meant to someone until now. I’ve now got a friends close and supportive & you are just the same! I really appreciate your words they make me feel sane again *phew* 😀

      I had a rocky week this week, I’ve been trying to lose weight etc and have had an eating problem for a few years now, so I’ve been quite nasty to Mum 😦 I am getting better with explaining afterwards why I was angry and reacted in such way etc, but a this is all so recent. All my life I never explained or opened up so it’s all very new here and I’m just adjusting 😉

      I’m so relieved you do get it! Sometimes I feel quite lost in the world. But I’m taking baby steps and hoping things will fall in place xxx

  2. Ah, well, I’m so glad that I can be here for you Maria:-) You support me too, so much, I love your comments on my blog! I’m glad I can help make you feel ‘sane’ again, although I wonder about myself sometimes, lol!!!
    Oh yes, the food issues. My daughter really struggles with this, I call her my ‘junk food junkie’! She gets crazy with anger when she is trying to lose weight. I’m sure your lovely mum understands.
    Through your writing you are expressing yourself and learning that this is a safe place to do so, and know that you always have my support and that of your lovely blogging community and friends…I hope you have a lovely weekend Maria 🙂 xx

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