*Phew* what a day it has been! I woke up feeling tense and achy. I find myself being rude and angry towards my father. I then throw my phone at the wall shouting at my mother, blaming her for meeting a horrible man and giving birth to me. (yes I do feel guilty now for saying these things). I rarely even cry in front of my parents, so mother was quite surprised and tried to justify that father was having a hard time. (something I didn’t want to hear as I like to be the one that’s innocent).
Anyway after the burst of anger I chirped up once I met my friend to go to the gym. I was joking around saying “I can burn off this anger at the gym today”. After a grueling intense workout I make my way home still feeling unsure of myself. I even started a conversation with father just to ‘clear the air’ type of thing. I then started my dinner and ate that whilst tweeting away to some lovely people, feeling content.
It was only when I sat down and had time to think about how I felt (which I try not to over think about) and felt the urge to binge eat. So I start making excuses in my mind, telling myself it’s OK I can work extra hard at the gym tomorrow. So I get the dogs on their leads and make my way out with mother to the shops and indeed buy a load of rubbish food to eat (it wasn’t as much as my usual binges before losing weight) but I still felt like a waste of space after consuming it all.
To be honest it’s the third intentional binge I’ve had in just over a month, but I’m worried it will continue.
So I log on to my blog to see what’s happening and I see this lovely blog award from the amazing and wonderful lady Sherri Matthews . It really has lifted my spirits just to know you are thinking of me and my little blog 🙂
When I started this blog I never expected I would be able to so open and voice how I felt in this much detail. I have met some awesome people on my journey here, and I hope to never lose contact with these lovely people! I also never really thought that people would be interested in what I had to say, but I’ve been proved wrong. But this time it’s a good feeling of being proved wrong 🙂
Thank you Sherri! I really admire you, I’m so glad I met you here! You remind me of my mother in so many ways! I am thrilled we have been able to help each other out and you’re always there.. I’m so thankful 🙂
Ok there are no rules to this award so I will go ahead and nominate some of you guys 🙂
Please people check out these blogs!!!:
- Green Embers
- Sally Tonkin
- Anna Rose Meeds
- Marie Olivia
- Aspie Story
- Sean Lynch