The One Lovely Blog Award Goes To…



*Phew* what a day it has been! I woke up feeling tense and achy. I find myself being rude and angry towards my father. I then throw my phone at the wall shouting at my mother, blaming her for meeting a horrible man and giving birth to me. (yes I do feel guilty now for saying these things). I rarely even cry in front of my parents, so mother was quite surprised and tried to justify that father was having a hard time. (something I didn’t want to hear as I like to be the one that’s innocent).

Anyway after the burst of anger I chirped up once I met my friend to go to the gym. I was joking around saying “I can burn off this anger at the gym today”. After a grueling intense workout I make my way home still feeling unsure of myself. I even started a conversation with father just to ‘clear the air’ type of thing. I then started my dinner and ate that whilst tweeting away to some lovely people, feeling content.

It was only when I sat down and had time to think about how I felt (which I try not to over think about) and felt the urge to binge eat. So I start making excuses in my mind, telling myself it’s OK I can work extra hard at the gym tomorrow. So I get the dogs on their leads and make my way out with mother to the shops and indeed buy a load of rubbish food to eat (it wasn’t as much as my usual binges before losing weight) but I still felt like a waste of space after consuming it all.

To be honest it’s the third intentional binge I’ve had in just over a month, but I’m worried it will continue.



So I log on to my blog to see what’s happening and I see this lovely blog award from the amazing and wonderful lady Sherri MatthewsΒ Β . It really has lifted my spirits just to know you are thinking of me and my little blog πŸ™‚

When I started this blog I never expected I would be able to so open and voice how I felt in this much detail. I have met some awesome people on my journey here, and I hope to never lose contact with these lovely people! I also never really thought that people would be interested in what I had to say, but I’ve been proved wrong. But this time it’s a good feeling of being proved wrong πŸ™‚

Thank you Sherri! I really admire you, I’m so glad I met you here! You remind me of my mother in so many ways! I am thrilled we have been able to help each other out and you’re always there.. I’m so thankful πŸ™‚


Ok there are no rules to this award so I will go ahead and nominate some of you guys πŸ™‚

Please people check out these blogs!!!:

  1. Green Embers
  2. Sally Tonkin
  3. Snababo
  4. Anna Rose Meeds
  5. Aspermama
  6. Marie Olivia
  7. Aspie Story
  8. FairyTaleEpidemic
  9. Chagall
  10. Sean Lynch

16 thoughts on “The One Lovely Blog Award Goes To…

  1. Thank you so much for the nomination Maria! You really deserve this nomination from Sherri and I’m one of many, who’s interested in what you have to say. You have fantastic writing skills and I’m happy you are willing to share your stories with us through your blog!

    I know things can be very difficult at times and I’m sorry to hear you had a few β€˜down’ moments today. Just know that these moments also make you stronger and that you have many on your side fighting the same battle. Enjoy the β€˜ups’ try to forget the β€˜downs’ and have a great weekend! πŸ™‚

    1. Ahh you’re always welcome Darren! It’s a pleasure.

      Aww your lovely! Thank you! I really am over the moon to have guys like you joining me on this journey as I am yours πŸ™‚ It is tough sharing some posts but it’s people like you that make it feel quite easy. I feel accepted and it’s a great feeling!

      I’m sure I’ll wake up a different person tomorrow, I mean it’s a new day πŸ™‚
      Thank you Darren, that was lovely to read. Have a nice weekend too πŸ˜€

  2. I can burn off this anger at the gym today ~ that’s what I did yesterday.

    As for the binging/purging, I hope that it doesn’t continue. I get bouts of it from time to time, but I try to stop myself. It used to be terrible when I was younger, but I’m trying to condition myself to not do it anymore because I know in the end, it will have disastrous affects on the body. I’ve only done it twice in the past few months, but I try to deny that I still have that problem. But it hasn’t returned full-force yet. Stay strong Maria. *hugs*

    Also, congratulations on your nomination.

    xoxo ~ Britt

    1. Hey Britt,

      Thanks for sharing that with me πŸ™‚ I never really opened up about the binging thing to anyone, it suited my needs at the time. I’m trying to get away from it too now I just hate relying on it when I feel like crap. GRRR.

      That’s really good!!! You really should be proud! I’ve done it 3 times in 6 weeks so I’m really trying to get out of it now. I also find if I resort to a sugary binge I crave more and more sugar. It takes a few days for the craving of sugar to leave the body it’s just so hard to overcome!! 😦

      From reading what you have said, if you can do it then I’m definitely going to try πŸ™‚ Thank you! πŸ˜€ And you can stay in touch anytime, if you’d like to talk privately I have my email add on my about section x

      Maria, xxx

  3. Congratulations! And thank you so very much!!! πŸ™‚ I am sorry to hear you had such a rough day though. The fact that you keep moving on with hope for the future is incredible! πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you πŸ˜€ And you are very welcome!

      It’s just one of those days, today was a better one! I pushed myself to go to the gym to kind of escape the dreary mood at home. I felt better so I’m hoping I can pull through without having a full blown meltdown.

      Aww Anna! I just want to feel happy and content in life. I know it’s going to take a while but I don’t want to be living in darkness and wasting the good years! xxx

  4. Crikey! Thank you so much Maria…I have only just started but thanks so much for the encouragement:0) It gives me inspiration to continue and perhaps share some more personal thoughts and feelings. I love reading your blog too, although I feel sad to hear about you feeling down. By the way..depression..I have been there once and it was an extremely dark place indeed. I am out of it now but now I know there are some things that break me and might do so again. I am always looking over my shoulder for it on those days when I just don’t think I am tough enough to be an autism mum. Not sure if you have read Harry Potter but it is like having a Dementor sitting on your shoulder. It takes everything I’ve got to get up, go and see a friend and carry on. Not many people know (knew) that about mexx

    1. Aww you’re welcome Sally! Your a natural πŸ˜€

      Go for it, there may be people going through similar situations etc and it’s nice to communicate with others. It makes me feel less ‘alone’ πŸ™‚

      Was it easy for you getting out of depression? That’s my biggest worry, I feel like depression is always hanging over my shoulder, like I can’t see myself being happy for long. 😦 I haven’t read Harry Potter yet no, is it good? I’ve seen some movies which I like but couldn’t keep my attention on them fully πŸ˜€

      I totally relate about getting up and seeing a friend etc..I am able to let my friends know this now and they’re fine with it! I never used to be open with my old friends. When I mentioned the depression I don’t think they took me seriously etc..Told me there were worse things happening in the world (I’ve put a post up here about how I felt about this. here’s the link: ) so I never really told them anything. They didn’t really understand that I had Aspergers too. But I think I have friends now that do understand me and I’ve been able to open up more than ever! I think it takes time though, and being able to trust them πŸ™‚

      If you ever want to talk privately though, I have got my email add posted on my About section..

      All the best Sally!! And definitely keep up the blogging! xx

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