Me And My Loneliness

 

Have you ever felt so lonely that the slightest gush of wind on a silent night is welcomed?

The world is too quiet. No one feels your pain. No one sees your fight in life. No one can taste the emptiness like you can.

These four walls surrounding me lock me away like a prison cell, yet this I do welcome.

Loneliness can be a beautiful thing.. It’s in these moments we can really feel present. We can touch life with our own bare hands and embrace it. In these moments time doesn’t exist, the clock hanging from the wall has no meaning – bin it.

In these moments the lies we like to believe become more visible. Our own visions become reality. In this feeling I don’t want cuddles or love. I want someone to share this feeling with.

Loneliness could be the drug. Enough to tip you off the edge. Enough to take your own life. Or it can make you realize these material things some fight so hard for won’t save us. Sometimes loneliness can make those around you fizzle away as if they never existed. That little mind kills off everything in it’s path leaving you raw and touched.

Tonight I feel alone and I don’t really want to fight it. Just going to embrace it..

 

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18 thoughts on “Me And My Loneliness

  1. hello, maria. you e.mailed me . i did one back heard nothing else.. todays blog talking about Loneliness.. this is very very common with aspergers. I HAVE IT VERY OFTEN. it is a very very DIFFERENT KIND OF LONELINES. than what people talk about. you can talk too me if you would like too, YOU have aspergers I have aspergers. mark

    Date: Sun, 29 Sep 2013 21:12:52 +0000 To: mkentdad12@outlook.com

    1. Hey Mark,

      I’m so sorry for taking ages to reply, I find emails can take it out of me. Really have to have the mental energy for it. Yes the loneliness really is different, I think it may have been a shutdown I had. Although I’m not very sure as I usually tend to have meltdowns so it could of been.

      Will email you very soon, thank you!

  2. i can relate to this, sometimes i can be surrounded by people and feel lonely also, I was out for a walk one night last week and it was great to just be alone then

    1. Yeah I find it quite strange, it’s a strange sort of loneliness. I also find walks are nice to clear the mind etc 🙂 Hope you are well?

  3. I feel You and You expressed this so eloquently, as if you knew what I was Going through. Thank You for Sharing. I feel Better, like we sat together and you spoke all this 2 Me2. (((Hugs&Cheers))), Friend!

    1. Thank you 🙂 I sometimes panic about sharing these personal thoughts but I’m glad you can relate. Awww! I’m so happy you felt better! My email is in my ‘about’ sec if you want to talk privately 🙂

      Hugs!

    1. Thank you Anna, how are you? Just realised that I didn’t get back to your email, my minds been all over the place. Will email you within the next few days, be nice to catch up.

      Yes loneliness is a strange thing, I don’t feel it too often as I rarely have shut downs. I think it was a shut down I was experiencing the other evening.

      Take care xx

  4. Loneliness…so much in that one word. Maria, my lovely, here is my big hug coming your way. In your loneliness, which sometimes can be embraced, strange as that sounds, you are never alone. Lots of love to you…xxx

    1. Thank you Sherri, I really needed that hug 😀 Aww 🙂 I’m so glad I met you Sherri! Lots of love xxx

    1. Do you feel lonely often? I find it’s in this state of mind that I can feel the realness of life around me. In day to day life I tend to have no care for anything or myself. But I find when I feel like this I can feel no time or pressure as it’s all in the moment.

      Always here if you want to talk 🙂 x

      1. I feel lonely all the time, not because I am alone, but because I feel isolated from the world. Lately I’ve been very low, and even if my best friend was there it was like there was an abyss in between us.
        It’s definitely real like you said, but it’s also SO painful.

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