19/12/13 – Outcast

There’s a million words I want to say to you..
A thousand images seen through dark eyes..
There’s no way of letting you know these thoughts that confuse me
And risking the world for a fucked up day or two

You know you mean so much to me
It pains me to be so speechless
Everything I wanted to express to you
Binds me, holds me hostage leaving me black and blue

Take these tangled emotions and straighten them out
Give me a clearer insight in to your mind
It’s all so bold and there yet….
I can’t paint this picture of it

My mind can’t take this tonight
A constant feeling of claustrophobia
Holding me at arms length
Expecting me in my flaw and glory

It’s all black and white to me baby..
One minute I know..
The next I don’t..
And at this moment, I know it’s going to be great

Join me on this mental fuckery
I promise I’ll never leave
All I can give you is honesty
And faith that you can always count on me..

Nights like this could abuse me
Alone with insecure thoughts and
Yearning to be intoxicated
Just to break free

Deep in my heart I know you’re there
10,000 miles away yet still here
Without you I’m not so strong
Tests of time, just not too long

I wish I could wash these thoughts down the drain
I wish I didn’t doubt myself and those around me
You’ve made me the happy
And I’ll do all I can until I die to make you feel the same way


4 thoughts on “19/12/13 – Outcast

    1. Thank you Rachel 🙂

      I actually think you summed it all up for me in that journal entry! It’s exactly how I felt when I was in my darker phases. I always struggle to express it how I’d like to and you do it so perfectly!

      Will definitely follow and hopefully stay in touch? I also have my email add attached in my ‘about’ sec if you’d like to talk privately.

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