I apologise for not posting as often as I would have liked to here but I have my reasons *clenches jaw*.
I’ve been going through one of my phases. From a young age I would go through phases of wanting to be around people and then there would be periods of time that I would shut myself away from people. It’s that time again. I can only manage a few hours maximum around friends. I doubt everyone around me and to be honest I’ve always had problems with trusting people and, that’s not just friends it’s pretty much everyone.
I find that with asperger’s syndrome there are times I want to be around people and find happiness in doing so but it’s not long until I find myself shutting off from the world and spending as much time alone as possible. I’m not sure what sparked it this time although I’m starting to believe it could have been the anaemia and feeling lethargic a lot of the time. It’s also my turn to travel to see Blue this weekend which means at least three days before hand doing nothing and recharging so I have the mental output of travelling on a train and being around people I wouldn’t normally be near.
I was thinking the other day…Am I always going to struggle to have a ‘social’ life when I’m back in work?! Being around people is exhausting yet I still hope I can be as normal as possible. I look at these people who work a 9-5 then go straight to the gym to then head out for drinks and feel tired just thinking about it but I wish that could be me. Maybe if I work in an environment with less people I will feel less exhausted and can go out with my friends and partner without any bother… We shall see what the future holds!
Anyway on a brighter note I’ve lost more weight and with that comes confidence. I finally feel content with myself at the moment. I’m also meeting up with an old school friend which I haven’t seen in 13 years! I am really looking forward to seeing her as it’s been so long and I’m sure we have lots to catch up on.
I’ve been setting myself small goals so they’re realistic and doable. I have missed blogging and often have had the urge to post in the past two weeks but have been too tired to. It’s been hard to blog mainly because I find I’m more relaxed and creative at night but where I keep feeling tired by 7pm I haven’t had much time to dedicate here! I’m feeling much better today and have some iron tablets if needed so you guys will be seeing more of me!
In the mean time fill me in on your lives and how you’re all doing at the moment? I also feel quite guilty of not tweeting often and feel a bit of a loser now! I will try hard to tweet more! 😀