It’s the strangest feeling.. I actually feel sane.. For once.

I’m sorry for neglecting you. I haven’t even been that busy. I just haven’t been here. Life has changed so much for me this past year that I’m not the same dark and depressive person who thought negatively about pretty much everything. It’s bizarre for me to look at life and appreciate being here and, if anything not wanting to leave anymore. It’s only here in the now that I’ve realised that I’ve been depressed from a young age and this feeling of happiness I feel now, I’ve never felt ever before.

Writing my about my feelings now is becoming a harder chore. I am having less negative thoughts and more positive. It’s so much easier to write about the negative. I haven’t written any poetry in months yet, I am happy. After distrusting humans for so long I find it very overwhelming that Blue is still here supporting me and has gone out of his way to bring out the best in me. I am now able to believe there are genuinely caring people out there.

Over the year I’ve noticed more bad points about myself and things I need to work on. I can be very critical and very opinionated although I’ve always had an opinion to throw around in debates. I also lack empathy in certain ways that is probably linked to the asperger’s but I have been trying to be more considerate of other people’s feelings. I have a terrible sleeping pattern and I still find many people irritating. The thing is, with depression, you do become a different person and you can’t see any light in the dark. It’s an illness that can affect people’s lives very bad.

Anyway..moving on. Next week Blue and I will be off to North Devon and Cornwall camping. We will be spending 12 days traveling around different areas. I don’t know what it is about Cornwall but I’ve always been very fond of the place. It’s very nostalgic and is always a pretty thought in my mind. I can’t wait to go kayaking on the open beach waters, cycling, trekking and discovering coves and sight seeing. I’ve never been camping before but, I honestly can’t wait. Being away from TVs, laptops and mobiles (for some part) will be peaceful. I will be posting many photos when I get home for you all to see.

Well, that’s it for now. I will try to keep this updated as often as I can. I hope that you are all finding more light in the dark and have a good day!


15 thoughts on “30.08.14

  1. Dark was just a figment of imagination! I walked the same road you took and today I have that guts to face darker tomorrow with my smile πŸ™‚ Cheers! Enjoy your coming days in a place where so called civilization is absent πŸ™‚

  2. It has been said, there is a recalibration of Light n Darkness taking place in this world. Slowly the bias shifts in favour of Light. That’s why many people are awakening, so to speak. πŸ˜‰

    1. Hi passionfortruths,
      Thank you for your comment πŸ™‚ Where did you find this out? I follow a feed on my Facebook to do with planets etc and the affect it has on humans. Is this something you follow too? πŸ™‚

      1. Hi. Great that others are aware too. I read the information from many gifted people who channel messages from the Other Side, such as Lee Carroll (Kryon), James Tyberonn (Archangel Metatron), Steve Rother (The Group),etc. Earth is ascending due to a shift in human consciousness. Ha..ha..we are living in unprecedented times.

  3. I’m so glad the depression fog lifted for you!! It did for me in my 20s, and I realized I had been depressed for years. Undiagnosed, untreated, but gone. Your Cornwall trip sounds like paradise, I hope you have good weather, flat sleeping and many safe and fun adventures. Peace, Brenda

    1. Hey Brenda,
      Lovely to hear from you again. It’s bizarre how much it becomes a part of who we are that we hardly realise it’s there and what it actually is. Have you had depression come back since your 20s?
      Thank you so much, I can’t wait to get out there! πŸ˜€
      Love, Maria.

      1. Only once, and it took a big blow to bring it back, and then it lifted again (20 years of freedom meanwhile). That time I recognized it, and sought treatment. It didn’t make me spin my wheels for years, so that was pretty amazing! πŸ™‚

  4. Yayyyyy. I’m glad to hear you are doing well. I hope life continues to get better and better for you.
    The vacation in nature sounds like it’s going to be very very exciting. I hope you and Blue have a blast. Sometimes it’s good to unplug and get into a reality which revolves around the innocent things in life. Like nature.
    You two be safe and have fun.
    Always keep your head up.
    Face the sun.
    And be yourself.
    Never lose hope.
    And enjoy this life.
    We only get one shot.

    P.S. Tell blue we said hey. ✌️

    Much love and light!


    1. Hey Vernon!

      Always a pleasure to hear from you!

      Yes life is getting better for me but it’s all about baby steps.

      I can’t wait to go, we leave on Thursday. I will be posting photos so you can check them out and get a feel for the place.

      Hope you guys are pushing forward too. I will tell Blue you said hey πŸ˜€

      Love & Light.

  5. Hope to see you before you go. What an amazing journey you’ve been on. It is so true that writing, or any art, and depression can go together. Cornwall is beautiful. I grew up in a fishing village there, called Cawsands. Magic. x

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