There’s nothing better than feeling superior because you feel different from any other person on the planet yet there’s nothing worse than feeling alienated because you can’t relate to these people.
There’s nothing better than waking up and making no effort with your hair and make up. Throwing on the loose fitted clothing to feel comfortable and free yet there’s nothing worse than feeling center of attention of the questioning eyes for dressing in such way.
There’s nothing better than having a creative mind and dreaming of many ways you could become successful yet there’s nothing worse than failing to organise your thoughts neatly to put these ideas in motion.
There’s nothing better than craving a love so deeply and being lucky enough to experience it yet there’s nothing worse than discovering love isn’t always what you imagined it would be and there’s going to be some fight to refresh the spark.
Lately I’ve noticed my mind’s been ticking over and over the hundreds of possibilities only to feel deflated moments or days later. I seem to find myself in the same position day after day because each positive thought is quickly pushed to the back of my mind with that nasty negativity.
I’m starting to wonder if I’ve ever led a happy life. Depression has completely taken over for so long it feels almost normal for me to lead such an unstable life. I often wonder if everyone else is ever really completely happy? Is there such thing? I’m losing all hope in myself and really struggle with this so called light at the end of the tunnel.
I believe that life can be pretty simple. Lead a life with good intentions and appreciate the goodness you receive, lead a life with bad intentions and expect the negative energy you could receive. I’m left wondering why I can’t seem to iron out the messy pattern of thought in my mind and picture everything clearly and easily so I can achieve something and feel human for once?