Sometimes it really doesn’t matter who’s around. Those that surround you and love you are lost elsewhere in thought. The drive that was once lived for slowly slips away into a memory. Everything becomes unnecessary and nothing satisfies. The eyes are no longer able to hold the gaze, no matter how starry the midnight skies. The smile starts to hurt the more that it’s forced. Words spoken are repeated continuously with no content. Shoulders bear the weight of a thousand worries and pains in the chest exhaling each. and. every. breath. Knots form in the stomach at the hands of constant betrayal. It’s never forgotten. Some days it’s easy to pull yourself together and other days it’s a question of how far your feet can carry you..
There’s a million words I want to say to you..
A thousand images seen through dark eyes..
There’s no way of letting you know these thoughts that confuse me
And risking the world for a fucked up day or two
You know you mean so much to me
It pains me to be so speechless
Everything I wanted to express to you
Binds me, holds me hostage leaving me black and blue
Take these tangled emotions and straighten them out
Give me a clearer insight in to your mind
It’s all so bold and there yet….
I can’t paint this picture of it
My mind can’t take this tonight
A constant feeling of claustrophobia
Holding me at arms length
Expecting me in my flaw and glory
It’s all black and white to me baby..
One minute I know..
The next I don’t..
And at this moment, I know it’s going to be great
Join me on this mental fuckery
I promise I’ll never leave
All I can give you is honesty
And faith that you can always count on me..
Nights like this could abuse me
Alone with insecure thoughts and
Yearning to be intoxicated
Just to break free
Deep in my heart I know you’re there
10,000 miles away yet still here
Without you I’m not so strong
Tests of time, just not too long
I wish I could wash these thoughts down the drain
I wish I didn’t doubt myself and those around me
You’ve made me the happy
And I’ll do all I can until I die to make you feel the same way